I Love......

Random thoughts - I LOVE THAT: Gramma says Mary Blidge w/o the J.. Taylor and I count down the days to the premiere of new Disney channel movies.. My family is super close and everyone's pretty hilarious.. Taylor's father may not be around, but she's so loved by my family & friends that she has mad daddies lol.. I can find a tiny glimmer of hope even in the darkest depths of my sorrow... Taylor's becoming a young lady I'm so proud of, and over the phone she still sounds like she's 5!.. Even when I don't have two nickels to rub together, God always blesses me wit finances or an opportunity to get some paper.. I finally tell my mom exactly wtf I want lol.. My hair! What? I have really nice hair lol.. Taylor is so forgiving - I'm not always a perfect mommy, but she continues to just love me... AAAND I'm losing weight!

So my mom shows me a shirt: Cane u didn't say anything about my shirt!
Me: Oh that's because I didn't see it (look at shirt) Oh, I just don't like it.
Mom: What? This is a gorgeous shirt!
Me: hmmm.
Mom: What DON'T u like about this shirt?
Me: Besides the "a blind crackhead made me" look? (Then I go on and on)...
Mommy just walks away, goes into Gramma's room then shouts back (as I am still on le toilette) MY MOMMA LIKES MY SHIRT!!!
Me: YO MOMMA THINKS A LIME GREEN STRIPED SHIRT AND HUNTER GREEN PANTS "GO" BECAUSE THEY'RE BOTH GREEN!
~silence....
she walks over: What'd-u-say-bout-my-mama?
Me: I saaaaid (then I repeat what I said)!!
Mom: (as she walks off, realizing she's taking fashion advice from some1 that needs a bib to eat out) ..Of all the kids God coulda given me, I get this fkn smartass...
*sigh* Gotta love ur family!!!

Hello dearest friends... It's been about a month o' Sundays since I last updated u on my progress & guess what? I've lost 36 lbs!!! How? STRESS & MILD ANOREXIA! *yess!* Nah fereal - I eat half a bagel, some fruit, and make it last all day, usually no appetite for lunch/dinner, and lots of water. This is really not the way I intended to drop the lbs, but with motherhood, school and a 2nd job I just don't have time. PLUS I'm poor so gotdamn Valencia dropped 3 of my classes - I'm stuck there for another semester instead of graduating in August. Fuck u college...with ur tricks, tactics & innuendo. Fuck u hard. And I'm not even callin u. Yeah bitch and what?!?! ...*crickets*...Sorry. I don't mean it baby, I love u!!! (I'm not a punk ya'll! I'm protecting my GPA & financial future.) Anyway let's see....anything new with me? New people, new possibilities, new program! Finally happy! Haters keep it up - ILY2!

Some of you may have heard about my love/hate relationship with the school crossing guard. She's supposed to wave at drivers as they pass by (oh yeah and help little sprouts cross the street without getting plowed), but sometimes she totally ignores me! I've seen her ass at Walmart at I'm >< this close to askin her what her gotdamn problem is but thus far I've managed to refrain.. So this morning she waves..waves..waves and when I get up to the intersection this heffa stops. waving. WTF?! So u know me (if not, u should - I'm awesome), I rolled down my window, start flailing my arms and smiling I yell GOOD MORNING!!!! It was so obnoxiously delicious I didn't even care that traffic sucked and my hair frizzed up on the way to work! Happy Friday!!!

School: after searching for parking for 15 min, then finding the right building, I went to speak with someone in the Answer Center. What a misnomer... They referred me somewhere else - Student Services... I explain my situation *again* now there's a 20 min wait to meet with someone fin'l aid. I swear college is nothing but student workers, misinformed gum chewers, paperwork & extortion. Hopefully when I go in someone can explain this mess to me.... *Calgon..take me away!*

Just finished one hour on my elliptical machine (that Tay, my mom & I put together last night) and no pieces went flying!! Size 10 - I'm comin for ur ass!

Re-Post

My girl Tanya, a wonderful mama/sister/activist/conscious woman has a wonderful blog: http://www.blkgrl.com/blog/ that I decided to check on... I came across a comment that I posted on her post titled The Black and Brown Divide. I wanted to share my comment and get fresh perspective on this topic bc my audience here is...sparse to say the least but we don't really get into the nitty gritty and while weightloss is a MAJOR headliner in my list of issues, it isn't the only thing I deal with when it comes to my image.
Anyway please read and share your thoughts friends...



(originally posted Aug 2009)

Being of Jamaican and Cuban heritage, I am ALWAYS discouraged by the great ethnic divide. Fortunately I grew up in a family where skin tone was irrelevant and character was valued (except for traffic issues cuz if you cut my grampa off you became a “insert ethnicity here" piece of sh*t). What hurts is that if you go back to Cuba or Puerto Rico or any island/country that’s rich in Latin and Afro-Latin culture, you don’t experience this bigotry because you can be as white as a the fallen snow and have a cousin the beautiful shade of Georgia clay and love and respect transcends the simple difference of skin color. Not to say that it’s a rainbow of love and people of all colors ride unicorns into the sunset, but I honestly think that the historical degradation of Blacks in this country has caused all who come here (of any ethnicity) to feel it’s okay to have separatist, hateful attitudes toward us.

As a parent this KILLS me. I want my daughter to grow up LOVING diversity and the opportunity to learn about other cultures while appreciating her own beautiful blackness, but at 7 years old, she’s already been ostracized as Taylor, the smart Black girl.

Unfortunately we live in a melting pot where most people don’t generally melt and mingle. They kinda cling to the sides and get all yucky… It’s time to get all up in the middle of this pot where shit is hot so we can finally get to the flavor of the issues we need to deal with. (Too much analogizing?) Yeah… So I guess all I can say is I LOVE the fact that I’m a Black woman in this world and when my best friends and I are together we look like a “We Are the World” poster and when we’re old and drinking whiskey - I mean mimosas - we have more countries to vacation to! Yay!