Tuesday, February 10, 2009

It's been a minute so it's gonna be a long one.....

I haven't posted and I don't know why but I PROMISE this will be a weekly occurrence although MAYBE 3 people read this. Maybe. Anyway... the weight issue is alive and kickin' since my break up with Mister NY. I've gained back and then some and am now a chunky monkey at 254 lbs. YIPES. How and when this happened doesn't even matter. What matters is knowing that it's out of control so I've started a new way of life. I'm going raw bitches.

Thanks to facebook, I've been reunited with some friends from elementary school and it feels so good. Normally I would be freaking out because of my lack of success, college degree, weight, and generally inadequacy, but I don't have time for that anymore. I'm tired of being sad all the time so I'm trying to focus on.... other shit basically. I thank God that I'm alive, in love, and I have a pretty ordinary existence with sprinkles of delight every now and then. ANYWAY as I was saying....

One of my old friends has gone raw and been quite successful (30 lbs lost in about so many days) so I figure I should give it a shot. For now I'm only doing 2 meals/day, but I'll go cold turkey if I see some changes in 2 weeks. Yesterday was day one and I had fruit salad for bkfast and lunch. Today I woke up early and juiced some carrots and apples and I have some more fruit as a snack and I'll have a greek salad although I'm not 100% sure if the components of said salad are all raw (is feta cheese raw?). I just looked it up and yes it is. For dinner I'll finish the left over lasagna and maybe have salmon and salad for dinner for the rest of the week...

Aside from the battle of the bulges... I'm doing alright. I'm ALWAYS stressed about money, but just when I'm on the verge of selling my possessions or myself on OBT, I realize that it won't always be like this; I won't always be living check to check and Minime won't always want some new toy/gadget/form of entertainment... ok scratch that - she's her mother's child so she WILL always want those things, BUT as we grow hopefully our finances do the same!

Hmmm what else is new? Minime is in karate and the Apopka Football season has started so I'm back to coaching and she's back to cheering. I'm not teaching Sunday school anymore (too many hands in the pot), but I'm still working with the Children's Ministry. Pretty soon Minime will start piano and voice lessons, but right now we don't have any days free and she needs time to focus on school - FCAT next year... (loud obnoxious groan... damn you George Bush). On a brighter note, she made it into the Gifted Program so she attends Enrichment classes once a week and so far she loves it. God bless her, she's got a lot on her plate, but she's an amazing kid and she loves all of her activities. She said she wants to play basketball too so we'll see what happens next year. I reeeeeeeally fkd up in school last semester - I was stressed about my finances and looking for a second job so school was on the back burner. Actually it wasn't even on the stove... maybe in a dusty corner somewhere I dunno. Anyway I'm fully focused man (like 50 said) and I'm certain I'll do better this semester. I can't afford one of my books though so I may just have to sell something after all. (big loud exasperated sigh)

OK so back to the weight thing (sorry I can't help myself PLUS I haven't blogged since SEPTEMBER and I have a lot to say)... My goal is 160-ish - any lower and I'll lose all the junk in my trunk and we know I don't want that to happen. I WAS working out with a 'friend' who has experience as a personal trainer and things were going well, but then he made some inappropriate comments and I'm not in the mood to deal with anyone's bs. I mean seriously - I'm not even sexy yet so work me out and save your harassment for later. Bastard.

Oh oh oh! My looooooove life lol. I've met the most A-M-A-Z-I-N-G man ever and that's all I'm going to say about that actually because I think my big mouth gets me into trouble and I also think when you're MOST happy, some people can't handle it and their negativity rains all over my glee parade. Fuck ya'll whoever you are, by the way. I'm tired of the whole misery loves company thing. I would REALLY like to TRY to be happy. Content. Jolly (sans belly). Joyful. Hopeful. Exuberant. Giddy? Nah... that's too much lol - anyway you get my point. Being the fat, miserable, broke single mom gets really tiring after a while. So I'm just going to be happy. Just because I wanna and there's nothing you can do or say that's going to stop me. So there!

So anyway I'm at work and some clients just walked in....... I think I'm getting a contact high so I should go - ah the joys of criminal defense. ANOTHER black man with his unequivocally ghetto girl/ baby mama - giving ME attitude. (ghetto sigh)

Toodles my noodles!

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