I'm 27 and I've never been "single" on Valentine's Day... Now I'm not "single" now, but my "man" isn't in "Florida" and I'm really feeling these "quotes" now so I'm totally "ramming" it into the "ground".... Anyway my major peeve is that I did NOT get flowers at work. In all my working years I've gotten flowers. Even if they weren't from my current flava of the month. So this leads me to believe that I'm SLIPPIN. I know I shouldn't be like this and there's more to life and blah blah freakin blah. Save that shit for the pathetic losers that comfort themselves with chocolate and cookies with sprinkle hearts they buy for themselves at Walgreens. This is not a conceited thing is it? It's not like "Oooh look at me, I'm so fab, I should get flowers...meh meh meh" Oh wait. It's exactly like that. Hmmm.. Whatevs look - I'm a good thoughtful loving lovely loved person so WHY the FUCK aren't there some FLOWERS embarrassing me with their sexy long stemmed redness?!?!?!
*breathe*
What are my plans for V-Day you ask? Nothing. Absolutely nothing and it's ok - me and Minime will do something glittery and red I'm sure. I'm also interested in seeing Valentine's Day - eeeeeeeeeverybody and their momma's in that movie. Hell I think MY momma's in that flick too. *cha-ching* I don't know how to feel about this Hallmark holiday this year.... It caused me to be WAY too reflective on some issues I was rather happy to bury like my number of sex partners - never to be unearthed!
It sounds silly, but I'm pretty insecure.
I have all this SHIT to get done... Parenting...parenting well....finding LOVE...being faithful....finishing school....staying in classes and not withdrawing if I'm getting less than an A...being a stellar employee...being on time to work...Paying bills....spending less. It's HARD out here for a pimp lately. Economically, it IS honestly difficult for pimps lately... and coke dealers as well, I'm sure. Anyway I'm just one little ol me and I ALSO have to deal with my fatness. This is the most SERIOUSEST of all of my issues because unlike a fkd up kid, loneliness, unemployment, dumbness and being broke, fat is a problem people can see right away! This pushes it right up to the top of my list. I honestly do believe that when I lose my 70 everything else will fall into place. Ferealz.
OK but let's get Walter Cronkite serious for a moment... I WAS seriously disturbed las night. I even CRIED! I got all contemplative about my LIFE and I got really angry. At my daddy. Don't get me wrong - I love my father. That's part of the problem. That pirate has never had to pay the price for his abandonment and being a general asshole because he's so charming and handsome and it may be some sick twisted Oedipus shit, but I CAN'T stay made at my dad. He's hot! Wait um... yeah..
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh! So anyway I was tellin my fave cousin/sister/friend, Dreenz, about the horrific chain of events in my life and it all stemmed back to my dad. I don't "blame" him per se. I just think he should've SHOWN me what to expect and what NOT to accept from a man... Sigh - I could go on and on.
Anyway I've been back and forth between blogging this syrupy sweet brain drivel and looking for pics of Beyonce and Raven Symone (stfu I love them) and it's 6pm... I've been off work for a half hour. I'm officially a loser. PEACE OUT!
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