Ideal Size...

So you know you have a "weight issue" when:

- Numerous people tell you you're NOT fat, but can't maintain eye contact.
- Your fat clothes actually FIT.
- You have become an expert in girdle shopping - call them what you want; they're GIRDLES!!
- The biggest challenge now is how to showcase your boobs, but completely hide your tummy!!
- Everyone starts giving you tips on how to lose weight.
- You become invisible...

Now what SUCKS is I'm still the same person on the inside. I'm still funny, outgoing, flirtatious, a good mom, a good student, etc. On the outside I'm the girl that used to be sexy or worse yet could be sexy if... Don't get me wrong I'm not going for your sympathy vote, I still get attention from guys. Mostly old men, but hey whatever dude... If a young guy does have the absence of mind to hit on me it's usually the 'fat chicks are easy' technique I think. Like all of a sudden I should be so grateful to get the slightest bit of attention that I'm making it a point to drop the draws before I even get in your car. As a matter of fact we don't have to even get in your car; I'm so desperate I'll drive myself to you. Yes P.O.D. (figure it out). So baby while you're snoozing from all the hard work you did (pounding my fat ass and tryina get around my stomach), I'll be driving all the way back home listening to Jill Scott like "Yeah... big girls can get it too!!! Oooh hol' up I almost passed Steak n' Shake..." Uh... I don't think so. I'm fat, not stupid and I certainly didn't take a slut pill so keep it movin playa!

I digress...

I look in the mirror and I think along the line of what other people are thinking. Is she getting bigger?? I see it and I feel it. I'm aware of how long it takes to get my pants buttoned. I've also noticed I have that all around extra belly that hangs over my pants when I finally get them closed (sexy it's not). I feel my thighs rubbing together and worse yet when I have a mirror in front of me I see my left and right thigh engaged in battle.

Right: I'm first!
Left: No I was!
Right: No me!
Left: Me!
Right: Me!

It's entertaining, but I've had enough...

Anyway back to my original topic: Ideal Size. My ideal would be a 10, but at this point I'd kill a small village just to be a 14... I think I'll post weekly pics up to give you a look into my passion for losing this weight.

Until then be good to yourselves... and each other. Love you all!