So this here weight loss thing...
My friend Carmeliciouss has a blog so maybe typing, thinking, venting and speaking on my feelings will help me deal with my 'issues'....
So how do I feel about my looks. Hmmm - shall I list every English word for "not good" or should I spare you the time? I've gained about 100lbs since '98 and I look like a totally different person. The problem is I still think, talk, laugh, love, study, cry, and eat like the old me! How ironic. Yes I said eat. I've always loved food and everything food represents. Having it and enjoying it in abundance represents happiness, wealth (not necessarily monetary, but a 'rich life') and choice. The ability to CHOOSE what, when and where I can eat is such a deep psychological issue. I can remember the days when we lived off of potatoes, pork chops and codfish.
My mom was a single mother, working and going to school and we were happy. I never knew how many varieties of fries, mashed potatoes, baked potatoes, scalloped potatoes and hash browns were possible. I don't remember feeling broke, but as I got older and I could go to restaurants with my friends I became addicted. Yes. Addicted. Addicted to going out, getting cute, eating out, drinking new cocktails, and leaving a big tip ('cause you know they assume that since I'm young and Black all I'm leaving is a damn dollar - in nickels and pennies)!
ANYWAY fast forward to pregnancy, losing the baby weight (well most of it), falling in love (wit a dude that wanted me to lose weight), and the weight piled on and on and on.
So now that we know how it came... We have to work on how to get rid of it. I think I'll attach pics and update them so we can monitor my progress weekly... Do you think that's a good idea?
1 comment:
Awww....I love that you actually went deep with it. If I go back to the source of my fatness I might uncover some serious depression that I didn't know existed. Well, we're in this together...through thick and thin!
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